Monday, October 3, 2011

Compassionate Meditation Can Help Difficult Relationships

Have you ever been stung by how someone spoke to you? And then worried about getting stung again? This seems to me to be a fairly common concern within organizations, friendships and families. Perhaps you remember assertiveness training. The advice was to respectfully address the person and request to be treated differently. That may work in some situations but in my work as a psychotherapist and in my personal experience I found that there was a side effect. The offshoot often resulted in the other person walking on eggshells. That may feel more protective, but also more strained.

I found that meditation can be just as effective in curtailing the offensive behavior and without the negative side effects. Years ago an acquaintance in a volunteer organization in which I served always spoke to me in condescending tones. I couldn’t understand the basis for this. We were the same age, there was no power differential in our relationship. Every time I considered bringing this to her attention, I ended up feeling it would make things worse. (MORE)


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