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Monday, March 23, 2009

The Enlightened Hugger

Deeper Emotional Connections

It’s so easy to fall into a routine and fail to connect with the people we love. Even though I exchange daily doses of hugs with my friends and family, sometimes I’m guilty of going through the motions without much awareness of the moment. So every now and then I try to step back, slow down, and appreciate these expressions of love more fully. In one memorable instance, I used the “hugging until relaxed” technique to forge a deeper connection with my Mom.

I ran across David Schnarch’s “hugging until relaxed” exercise while reading Passionate Marriage for a counseling class. This technique extends hug time beyond the cursory embrace so that participants move beyond self-consciousness to relax into one another.

In addition to the technique’s application within a marriage, Schnarch writes about the impact of hugs in other relationships. One of his examples pertained to hugging his father twenty years ago, which he compared to “embracing a tree trunk.” As the years passed, Schnarch’s father softened by degrees. At the same time, he gradually became more relaxed when hugging his son. As the duration and relaxation of their hugs increased, they fostered a more open and affectionate relationship. The hugs both reflected and contributed to their growing closeness. (More)

Source: jacksonville.com

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